Feeling depressed reading all the joyous and happy posts in the TL forum about how relieved and elated people are to have received their first assignment back and got the big "thumbs up". I'm really pleased for those people, and it's wonderful for them.
Unfortunately, I am not one of those people and instead of jumping for joy, I am holding my head in my hands wondering "Where the hell did I go wrong?"
You put so much effort into these things - many hours of drafting, deleting, redrafting, reading, reading, reading and then more drafting and editing, only to find out that "hey sorry - you suck!" How humiliating! While I did not really expect a Distinction, I was confident that I would pass this assignment and felt that I had covered the aspects reasonably well. How can you be marked satisfactory and receive a 15 out of 30?? And 14 references is apparently not enough!!! My God - how many hours of reading are we honestly expected to do? 14 references? That makes me really angry actually. This subject is meant to be 8 hours work per week - I'm sorry, I honestly don't think you could possibly complete all work in just 8 hours, that is absolutely ridiculous.
If I got that so wrong, what is the point of continuing? I may well put a similar amount of effort into Assignment number 2 (honestly, I can't give any more than that - juggling a job, a family and a life) only to be told that my best is not good enough.
It's a shitter actually, because I was just starting to feel like I was really getting somewhere in my TL job, which I have only just started this year. This whole experience leaves me wondering whether this is really what I should be doing.
I apologise to anyone who is actually reading this blog - I know it's full of self pity, poor me, poor me, poor me - but I need to express my frustration somehow and this is one avenue for doing that. Husband can only take so much.
Two paths to follow now - chuck the whole thing in and actually get my life back, have some time to do things other than study, work, kids (gee the more I think about that option the more attractive it is sounding OR take a deep breath, grit the teeth and give Ass 2 everything I've got - which may or may not be enough. Might have to sleep on that one. Or not sleep as has been the case recently.
Grumpy and frustrated, signing off......
Hi, I would not take the path of 'chucking it all in'. You obviously care about what you do and I would not let one task get you down so much. I agree this course is harder than any course I have attempted but I don't want to give up as I am enjoying what I am learning regardless of how hard it feels. The emotions matter more when we really care... if that makes sense?
ReplyDeleteI can empathise with you Jo, as I am in the exact same boat as you. Wanted to "chuck" it all in as well, as I failed the assignment by 2 marks. Working full-time, trying to study and deal with 3 small kids, I thought I had done an OK job on the assignment. I only wanted to pass, not out for top marks, but was very deflated by my results and the lack of comments which actually explained where I went wrong. Am trying to tackle this next assignment and hopefully pass it and get a couple of extra marks so I pass the course. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments girls. Lindi, sounds like you and I are ETL401 twins! I failed by 3 marks (47%), have 3 kids, working etc. I also thought I had done OK - same as you, wasn't out for any High Distinctions, happy just to pass, confident that I would. Devastation hit when the result came back. Have not cried so much in a long, long time. Then it turned to anger. I think now I have reached the absolutely "not gonna stuff this one up" determined mindset. It is really generous and helpful when people like yourself share their stories - alleviates some of the pain and decreases the isolated feeling. Thank you so much, and hey girl, let's kick some assignment butt!!
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